Now that I’m six weeks away from my due date, I keep asking myself the same question over and over again.
what to do with this?
Of course, my husband and I are very happy to have added a cute baby to our family. But considering breastfeeding every two hours, surviving postpartum recovery, and running on zero sleep; Also I’m nervous about taking care of my 2 year old child. When I had to take care of her one child as a newborn, I was already finding it difficult. So how do parents juggle work when caring for two or more children?
My other worry? Ella spent her first two years as the center of our lives. How does she feel and react when she no longer has our attention? Do we think she feels confused, sad, or forgotten? Her heart feels like it’s going to break. So for her guidance and reassurance, I reached out to nine mothers of multiple children. Here’s their advice…
On bonding with both children:
“During those foggy early days, you might want to cuddle up in a cocoon of love with your new baby and send your older child off with a partner, friend, or sitter. During that time, I did the opposite: I left the baby at home and took my 2-year-old son to the playground. It was so nice to have just the two of us for just an hour (or less!). Not only because he got my full attention, but also because I felt good about the end of our alone time.” — jenny tan
“Your heart grows more and more in love with your children. At first I felt guilty that I didn’t bond with Anton enough right away. Even though I loved the cute newborn… , did I love him? all of my heart and soul, like I loved Toby? still. I’ve known Toby and his wonderful boyfriend for three years, and we’ve played, laughed, and hugged him every day, so I knew everything about him. In Anton’s case, he was completely new. It was like asking him on his first date if he was into someone.But as he grew up we fell in love with each other and now both Children are my life’s greatest joy. ” — Joanna Goddard
“There was one trick that really helped me in the early days: I made her a special big sister box using stickers, markers, paper, and some of her first little toys. Whenever I was busy with the baby, , I was asking my 4-year-old son, “Do you want me to take it out of the big sister box?” Then you’ll be able to do something special with us. ” — virginia solesmith
Hacks to make your life more manageable:
“A friend introduced me to the concept of a ‘mutual enrichment place’, a place where the whole family goes for fun and where everyone’s needs are met. For us, that means the local pool. There, one parent plays with the kids while the other does a meditative lap before taking turns. Or at the local nature reserve, where the kids can run around to their heart’s content and we go for a walk. and get some fresh air.” — Mel Wiggins
“Whenever possible, choose what’s easier! If it’s easier to let your baby nap in a carrier than in a soundproof nursery with blackout curtains while you rush to pick up your older sibling from school, do it. And if you feel like you can’t spend as much time stimulating your baby’s activity as you did with your first child, let it go — an older sibling’s gymnastics class (or whatever it is) It’s exciting enough to see — it’s going to be different, rather than better, or worse.” maggie pouncey
Here’s how to give a pep talk:
“It’s true that having two children is bigger than one child, but the best thing about having a second child is that you have all the muscle memory built in. Until my first child was born, I had never swaddled a baby, never used a breast pump, never struggled to open a stroller with an infant on a concrete sidewalk. Parenting can be physically awkward. The second time around, my body knew more what to do and the whole experience was less of a shock to the system. Do you change diapers in the dark? Handled. ” — Erin Boyle
“If you sometimes feel like you’re starting from scratch in your parenting abilities, don’t shame yourself by thinking you ‘should’ be good at it already because you’ve done it before. The truth is, every child is different, so it’s normal to feel like a beginner again from time to time. ” — Destiny Davis
feel joy:
“The first year after my youngest was born was very difficult as I felt like I was balancing a two-year-old and a toddler. But once we got out of the ‘baby’ stage, the burden became lighter. Become. And once the kids are older, it’s a lot of fun. When the younger ones started talking to the older ones, those were some interesting conversations. And watching them collide with each other is just…indescribable. ” — Nicole
“Forgive me for being funny. Everyone around you will tell you how hard and stressful your life is, like, ‘You’re in a tough situation!’ “Wow, I have my hands full!” Yes, having multiple small children can be really tough at times, but it can also be a lot of fun in the good times. Now, every time I see a mother with multiple children out in the field, I say something like, “Oh, what a dream, what a wonderful child they are.” — caroline chambers
What would you like to add? This mama has great ears!
P.S.: 3 Things to Say to Kids, 5 Tips on Sibling Fighting, and Joanna talks about going from one child to two.
(Photo credit: Padillarigau Mumsonfilm/Stocksy)